Spring Cleaning.

Wikipedia defines 'spring cleaning' as

"the period in spring time set aside for cleaning a house, normally applied in climates with a cold winter.
"The most common usage of spring cleaning refers to the early act of cleaning a house from top to bottom which would take place in the first warm days of the year typically in spring, hence the name. However it has also come to be synonymous with any kind of heavy duty cleaning or organizing enterprise. A person who gets their affairs in order before an audit or inspection could be said to be doing some spring cleaning."


When is it spring?
Is winter over yet?
We moved the clocks forward today. That's definitely gotta be a sign of spring.

I feel like I'm Spring Cleaning.
And... I didn't think this post through.


It's been a long winter.
My winter has been more than several months. More than a year?
It's been a long winter.

It's been a cold winter.
Now spring comes.
Now spring cleaning occurs.

What is it about winters?
What is it about winters that make you forget that it was summer not too long ago, that it'll be summer again very soon? What is it... that on the coldest day you forget about how it feels to be warm and what it feels like to have the sun shine on your face, that makes you feel like it's been forever since those warm summer days. Like winter's not passing quickly enough? Like your terrible coldness is just simply the worst thing ever... like you've never seen the sun before, like you've never been through a winter before.

Then what is it about summers that make you forget entirely about the cold winter? Even though it's bound to come. Even when you know that it was REALLY cold to the point of freezing to death just a few months ago... yet you still can't really remember it.

Life is adventures. It's the same cycle over and over and over.
And now it's time for spring cleaning.

And this time I'm going to every nook and cranny, not leaving anything unturned.
This time I'll be bold, this time I have nothing to lose.
This time I'm throwing out the junk.
This time I'm polishing what I let rust and collect dust.
This time I'm putting my pride on the line.
I'll say I'm sorry. I'll actually be sorry.
I'm getting my house in order.
I'll be honest. I'll tell them the truth. All of it.
This time I'll be bold.
And I'll pay the consequences.
It needs to be done.
I lived with this mess for too long.

Today I remember the sun. Today I feel it coming.


Now is the time for spring cleaning.
Now the warmth comes. Now the fire falls.
Now it rains.
Now it is a time for growth. For change.
For life.









and life in abundance.

I want to rewind.

But I can't.
You never can.

And I run it all over in my head. God, I wish I can go back to that point and press pause and remain there forever. Or maybe to go back there and just start again.
Because the way this turned out wasn't what I had planned.
So let's just throw this draft away and try again.
Right?


Someone once told me that God doesn't have plan Bs.


Sigh.
I know.
I know that there's only moving on and moving forward.
Time to be strong. Time to stand firm. Time to fight and to face everything head on.


Lord be my banner.
Love be my cause.




When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me.

I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way
He loves us.

How He loves us so.